"It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live."

So, life is incredibly unpredictable. The moment I decide that things will be a certain way, something changes and it becomes the complete opposite. I could try to stick to my plan, and attempt to exercise some control over my life. Or, I could go with the belief that I'll only regret the things I didn't do, and therefore go with the flow. Honestly, I'm not sure which way to go with this one.

But I've never been one to let a good thing pass me by.

Set me down in your warm arms.

I finished my first play at about 3:30 this morning. I'm not sure how good it actually is - it has some cheesy comedy, and it's a bit cliché. Still, I think it will do for a high school production. It gives the actors quite a bit of freedom to experiment with their character, which is what high school productions are really about. Learning about acting, I mean. I'm a bit nervous to have other people read my work, simply because I have a complex about being good enough. I think everyone does.

On a very different note, I had some crazy nightmares last night. By the end of it, two close friends of mine had been killed, in horrible ways. The part about them dying wasn't even the worst bit - it was telling my other friends the news. I woke up shaking and in tears, and had to go online to make sure that everyone was okay. The subconscious can do crazy things to a person.

These next couple of weeks are going to be a bit nuts. Auditions, exams, appointments, etc. continue to add themselves to my calender. I'm still exhausted from last week, and I wish I could pause time for a couple days.

Anyways, I guess I should get started.

- Karebear

One foggy night.

The heavy smog

Smothers the city like a blanket.

Memories of times passed

Hidden beneath its layers.

All I've known

Behind curtains of grey

Tonight, just waiting for me

To unveil forgotten meaning.

The mist, it sinks

Lower into the streets and alleys

Crafting a sense of secrecy

In a place we thought we knew.

Many mysteries

This town has kept concealed

It's greatest of all, by far

Was you.

- Karebear

Thanks to Andrea for finding this picture!

With a little help from my friends.

Some people are just naturally awesome. I am lucky enough to be friends with many of these people. These past two nights have reminded me that I'm not alone in the world, the way my self-pity sometimes leads me to believe. Whether it's a quiet night in or a crazy night out, these people make you feel at home wherever you are.
You guys know who you are.
I love you all more than words can say!

Some random thoughts.

I seem to have phases in my life. Some phases are full of excitement, good times, and accomplishments. Some are based on contentment, with everything going steady and as planned. Other times, however, time goes by in a blur of little events that don't add up, as I live each day absent-mindedly, not really seeing a path before me.
The last of these is what I've found myself in as of late. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going or what will happen in the near future - everything feels as if it's up in the air. Judging from past experience, this usually leads to some sort of change. What this might be, I have no idea. I guess I will have to wait and see.

Have you ever had one person in your life that you just couldn't get along with? I have one of those. Thing is, he's a good friend of mine - I love spending time with him, he's a cool guy. But for some reason, we can never see eye to eye on anything, especially when it comes to personal issues and our opinions. It makes it difficult to be friends at all, because every time that we speak, we misunderstand each other and argue. Not just light arguing, either - dramatic arguing about issues that sit deeply with each of us. I want to keep him in my life, but I wish I could understand him better, and vise versa.

And as for the play I'm writing, I haven't made much progress. I mean, I have the basis for it, and even the characters to an extent. But, I have yet to create a conflict, or any dialogue. I don't understand why I'm so stuck on it. I really need to sit down and figure it out, but it all comes back to the craziness that is my life right now. I just haven't been in the head space to do it.

On a different note, my Aunt is flying in to town tomorrow. I haven't seen her in ages. Her and I have been close friends since I was born, and we've always been a lot alike. I'm excited to see her, and to show her everything that has been going on lately.

Anyways, I'm off.
Lots of love,
- Karebear