"Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that. But the really great make you feel that you too, can become great." - Mark Twain

I'm so fortunate that I have found friends that I can call family. Each of you are unique, awesome individuals and I wouldn't trade this past year for anything. I'm confident that this year will be just as amazing, and will bring about just as many new friendships. I love you all more than words could ever express.

Love,

KareBear

And all of what I feel, I could show you.

Nothing compares to the silence that envelops a neighborhood, after snow has fallen in the middle of the night. The calm that sets in is a kind that rarely meets the city. All is quiet and, all of a sudden, you are reminded that you are a part of so much more than a city. It is a humbling feeling, making you aware that you're a part of the Earth - nothing more, and nothing less.

Now, imagine this. As you come to these realizations, and are taking them all in, the power in all the houses around you is eliminated. Everything is dark, and suddenly the night sky is so much brighter than before. If possible, the world is even quieter now.

There is no real way to describe the thoughts that ran through my mind when this happened to me tonight. It's simply the most comforting, but terrifying feeling that I've encountered in a long time.

- KareBear

I admit I miss seeing your face, babe.

So, I'm not going to pretend as if my constantly-repeated mistakes aren't taking their toll on me. A person can only be numb for so long, before the smothered feelings begin to finally come up for air. Although I'm practiced in letting the past fade behind me, the scars themselves are becoming difficult to deal with. The problem is that I'm not entirely certain how to deal with them at all. I'm terrified that, if I don't do it the right way, I'll keep hurting others, just like I've been hurt.

I honestly don't know what I need right now.

- KareBear

There is no peace that I've found so far.

in⋅de⋅pend⋅ence: freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

My whole life, I've thought myself to be an independent person. As it turns out, I had no idea what that actually entailed. Pretty soon, I'll be on my own in more ways than ever before. Of course, I will have friends and family close by. But, for the first time in my life, I'll be taking care of myself. I'm terrified and yet, incredibly excited. One foot is eager to get out of the door, and the other is dragging itself along. I guess we'll have to see how I cope.

Tell me, what makes you think that I will be putting effort into this, if you barely make an effort yourself? You'll quickly learn that the "two-way street" is my favorite kind of street. If you aren't willing to walk it with me, than perhaps we should be taking separate roads (how's that for an analogy?). The bottom line is that I want someone who wants me. I'm finally learning not to settle for anything less.

On a completely different note, today is one of my best friends' birthday. He is officially an adult, as of today. I hope he knows how awesome he is, and that he deserves the best year imaginable. So, dear friend, if you are reading this, Happy Birthday, and I'm so glad you're in my life =] Love you!

- Karebear

While drunken men find flaws in science.

Do you ever get to a point where thinking becomes something that you'd just rather stay away from completely? It's not that anything particularly bad has happened, it's simply that life's tangled web has become a bit too complicated to follow, and the mind requires a break.

In all reality, I have nothing to complain about. It's just that I can't get my mind around how quickly everything is shifting and changing, and time just won't allow for pauses. With all the planning that we do for the future, we end up completely ignoring the present. Then, we look back and wonder where the time went, when we could have done something about it if we'd only paid attention. It's such a horrible trick that life plays on us; the fact that focusing on building a life is exactly what makes us miss the joy of living it.

I know I'm reading way too far into things for the situation I'm in, but I needed to vent, I guess. I'm just so frustrated with trying to plan out where my life is going, when I'd rather just hop into a car and figure it out on the way.

Unfortunately, America has shaped our lives into what it believes it should be. And - for now, anyways - that's just something I've got to deal with.

There are so many complications and details that tie into that statement, but I'm not going to get into those right now. Just food for thought.

peace&love.

- Karebear