Mind over matter.

This is a strange time. I feel as if I am running behind, on a schedule that life has set out for me. There's so much I'm supposed to be doing, and I have barely taken a step forward, it seems. Perhaps I am selling myself short, but that doesn't change how left behind I'm feeling right now. Everyone I know is moving on to bigger and better things, while I am sitting in the same spot I was last year. It doesn't help, that people that I thought cared about me, don't care all that much after all. It's hard to stay positive when it feels as if the whole world has gotten bored of you, and left.

All that being said, it is an incredibly selfish way to look at things. I should be happy for the people in my life, and supporting them on the paths they are starting down. Don't get me wrong; I am those things. I simply wish I was doing the same, alongside them.

As for those previously mentioned who have seemed to stop caring, they are obviously not worth my thoughts. I know this. It's just easier said than done. Putting them out of my thoughts, I mean. After all, they were in there for a reason.

This is going on both my blogs.

Is 'surreality' a real word?

I’m not really sure how to put my feelings into words right now.

The end of this show marks way too many changes for me - changes that, up until now, I have avoided facing. That is going to change, starting now.

Why should I be sad? Yes, life is incredibly stressful right now. Yes, it’s scary, and everything is coming towards me way too fast. But there isn’t a reason why I can’t be happy in the face of it all.

I learned that today. I learned that there is nothing to gain from dwelling, nothing to gain from complaining, and nothing to lose by being happy. Don’t get me wrong - being sad is something we all need once in a while. It’s a part of life. It only becomes a problem when being sad is all you really know.

People I care about are going their separate ways. My life is changing rapidly. I could either mourn the way things used to be, or I could embrace the things that will come. I need to have faith that I’m strong enough to take it.

So, I plan to take everything in stride, keeping myself grounded. I want to tell everyone how much I care about them as often as possible. And I want to change the effect I have on my own life, as well as everyone else’s, in the most positive way.

This all sounds incredibly idealistic, and I’m aware of this fact. It’s just that I know I am better than the way I am thinking and acting right now. If I can change my attitude for the better, who knows what else I can do?

Wow. It's been a while.

I feel almost guilty, having two separate blogs, but I feel there is some sort of purpose for them. I'm not quite sure what that is, but it'll sort itself out eventually.

Do you ever find yourself wondering what the world would do if you simply refused to comply to it's demands anymore? I found myself wondering that today. What if I were to throw away my cell phone, pack all my things into my car, and simply drive off? What would happen if I were to abandon my job, my community, my responsibilities, and leave everything behind?

And what would I do after that?

Most people would find this idea quite difficult to imagine. The thing is, our world is so enthralled in our own social norms that we don't stop to question whether or not they are natural.

So, question. What does 'true freedom' mean to you?

On the other hand, if we were all to pick up and leave on account of our own selfish whims, the world would be in a sad state. I guess my thoughts are all stemming from the stress of everyday life in modernized North America. It can become quite unbearable at times, especially to those of us who can't quite get used to this kind of life.

You take what you get, and do with it what you can.