I just can't sleep.

Restlessness seems to lead to blogging.

So, I saw Avatar tonight, with some wonderful friends of mine. This movie absolutely blew my mind. No, it wasn't the most well written script. And no, the characters weren't perfectly developed. But all in all, I would give it an extremely high rating. It was entertaining, and the story was meaningful. The special effects were some of the best I've ever seen, personally. The whole thing was great =]

It was also wonderful to see my good friends; some that I haven't hung out with in far too long. I believe the statement "friends are the family you choose" to be completely truthful. The friends that I trust are part of my family, and when I'm away from them for long periods of time, it takes a toll on me. I don't think they even know how much they each mean to me. I think this is because I'm not sure I mean quite as much to them, so I don't show it very often. I know that thought is filled to the brim with self-pity; I just hold my friendships in such high regard that I doubt anyone else could possibly reach.. if that makes any sense whatsoever.

I'm the same way with all kinds of relationships. Perhaps I'm just overly sensitive, but I tend to be afraid of telling anyone how I actually feel about them. And even when I try, it comes out wrong, and I end up saying something completely different.

So far, I've been getting away with it. However, have you ever been in a situation where you feel you might burst if you don't let someone else know what's going on? I feel as if I'm getting to that point with one particular person in my life. The funny part is, there are many people that may read this and think it's about them, and instead, it's about the person who will think it's definately not about them. That sentence was probably grammatically incorrect, but I don't care - you get the point. It's so easy to tell each of my friends and family members that I love them, and to hug them and keep in touch with each of them. So why is telling someone that you're in love with them so much harder? It's just an extra little word, really. Funny how two little letters can make a statement so different.

And yes - I have come to the conlusion I'm in love with him. Who's him, you may ask? Well, you'll never know.

Want to know something else, though?

This secret of mine is never going to reach the surface. Because, not only would he not feel the same way, but there are so many things that would prevent it from working out. I know I sound like little miss negative right now, but there are just some things you know, deep down. Besides, I've got other things going on in my life right now - University coming up, theater to focus on, family, friends - even a date or two. Pining over an impossibility isn't going to help anything.

Okay, maybe I will tell him one day. But not any time soon.

On a completely different note, why hasnt anyone discovered the cure to procrastination yet? I'm waiting. I woke up early this morning to get all my homework done, and to pass in Supervisor forms for my exams. Did I get ANY of this done? Negative.

I did have a great day, though. So I won't complain too much.

Every night, my mother tells me to try to go to bed before 3 am. I'm barely going to make that deadline as it is. I'm off.

Love,

- KareBear